More Than What Meets the Eye
by dECIPHERtHErAINBOW
Summary: Staci was a compulsive liar, that is true. But maybe there is more to hear from her than just the lies. Maybe there is more than what meets the eye. (WARNING:MENTIONS OF RAPE AND MURDER!)


**April 16, 2012**

I peer in the casket to see the corpse.

Staci's corpse.

I remember her laugh, her voice, who she was, her soul. But right now, all she was was a corpse. Nothing more, nothing less. Everyone was shocked by her suicide, no one knew what was going through her head on April ninth.

"It's not your fault, Diane. I understand that she was your sister, but it wasn't your fault." said my father as he patted me on the back.

"I could have helped her" I sobbed

"You were in college" my father insisted

"What happened when I was gone?" I asked

"Nothing. She was just confused." he claimed before clearing his throat, "In her suicide note she said that you should read this and that it'll explain everything" he explained handing me a small diary, "I didn't read it, I felt she only wanted you to read it."

I stared at it in my hands for a moment before I carefully flipped it open and began to read.

**October 21, 2010**

The man told me I was beautiful  
He stroked my body  
And it felt wonderful  
So for some odd reason  
I let him do whatever he wanted  
That  
Was  
A  
Big  
Mistake

**November 7, 2010**

There was a change  
In _everything_  
Everyone asked me if I was OK  
And I'd snap at them  
Everything was crumbling  
Down  
To  
The  
Ground

**December 1, 2010**

I was utterly drunk  
And high, don't forget that  
Tripping down the stairs  
I told them everything  
At first surprised  
They registered what I said  
Good  
For  
Them

**December 4, 2010**

There was a nice woman  
She said to all her Mariam  
Mariam told me everything was fine  
That I was just confused  
But that everything would get better  
For  
A  
Moment  
I  
Believed  
Her

**December 14, 2010**

I learned who Mariam was  
She was supposed to help my mind  
She'd come every Thursday  
We'd talk about normal things  
Mostly about me  
I thought she cared  
But  
Then  
She  
Stopped  
Coming

**December 19, 2010**

My parents said I was OK now  
And I asked  
_'What was ever wrong with me?_'  
They just told me  
Listen to what Mariam said  
But she left me  
So  
Why  
Should  
I?

**December 20, 2010**

Going to school for the first time  
Was a whole new experience  
When everyone knows  
How you were raped  
They all pitied me  
But  
I  
Didn't  
Need  
Pity

**December 26, 2010**

Mariam once told me  
To say little white lies to myself  
She said it would help me feel better  
So I followed her advice  
_'You are beautiful'_  
I whisper  
But that is not a white lie  
It  
Is  
Something  
More

**January 2, 2011**

Lying became fun  
Almost like a game  
And soon enough  
I began to believe myself  
It's not like it could hurt someone  
But  
I  
Was  
Wrong

**February 3, 2011**

Fifteen  
I was fifteen and look where I was  
I had been raped,  
Became a compulsive liar,  
Was mentally unstable,  
And  
Had  
Nothing

**February14, 2011**

I sat alone  
Talked alone  
Sang alone  
Danced alone  
Did everything...  
Alone

**February3, 2012**

I was sixteen  
When I filled out a forum  
For this cool show  
And with the prize money  
I could turn everything around  
What was it called?  
Oh yeah,  
Total  
Drama  
Revenge  
Of  
The  
Island

**February 10, 2012**

The first day and already gone  
How sad, but expected  
I suppose they couldn't take my brilliance  
But then there was a phone call  
It was a man  
By the name of Dallas  
He offered me something I guess I needed  
Help

**February 20, 2012**

I sat across from Dallas  
He said he thought I was interesting  
And that he had seen my records  
Then I ran  
It was Mariam  
All  
Over  
Again

**March 13, 2012**

Every Thursday I had to see him  
He tried to replace Mariam  
But I would stop him  
No  
Matter  
What  
It  
Takes

**March 20, 2012**

In the darkest of night  
I sneak in with my knife  
Then do what I am here for  
Something  
Very  
Inhuman  
And  
Disgusting

**March 21, 2012**

Have you ever taken another life?  
First there's a thrill  
And you can ignore the smell  
Of blood and carpet freshener  
That is,  
Until  
You  
Realize  
What  
You've  
Done

**April 5, 2012**

For some reason  
I acted normal  
No one would've suspected me  
And the next day  
He was declared  
Brutally  
Beat  
To  
Death

**April 6, 2012**

The next day I realized something  
Fantasy protects us  
From something quite cruel  
That  
We  
Call  
Real  
Life

**April 7, 2012**

Maybe the guilt got to me  
Or maybe it was something else  
But I felt horrible  
And then I thought  
Maybe  
I'm  
Not  
Ready  
For  
Real  
Life

**April 9, 2012**

Thank you  
For making this far  
In my stupid old diary  
This will be my last entry  
This wasn't the diary you expected  
From a fourteen year old girl  
Going on to fifteen and sixteen  
But I am a coward  
And I am tired  
Goodbye  
_Forever_

**Signed, Staci Bell**

I stared at what I just read. How my loving fourteen year old sister morphed into a monster in those measly two years.

Holding the book to my chest, I just sobbed.

I want to say that I could have helped her, but in the beginning she was already in too deep to be saved. From the very start, even before all of this happened.

Perhaps there's more than what meets the eye.


End file.
